I'm only human

You'll never know how much you love someone until reality strikes you that you might lose them one day. #currentthought

Things change and we are no one to decide for the future. We can plan, but not everything will fall into it's place. Sometimes someone important in your life just fall sick? You want to do something to reduce their sufferings but you have limits and you feel helpless.
All you can do is.. pray? Sigh.

*


So recently I received hate from this anonymous saying that I'm being arrogant about my wealth. I usually dgaf but I didn't know why, this issue somehow made me reflect about myself. Am I showing off? What am I showing off? The pictures of nice food? Do I look so rich that people label me as cocky?
I've had my moment and thought about these questions for awhile, and I concluded that

No, I'm not fucking rich.
I do not consider myself poor but not to the extend that I call myself rich. I'm moderate.
I only suppose that I'm the only child so I get more things? But my parents work very hard and I only use their money moderately.
I just invest most of my monthly allowance in getting food.
I don't even buy a lot of new clothes or expensive things. Just besides food.
I wait for sales to buy the things I like.
Everything I share online, is because I am happy and I appreciate the moments. Not because I want to make others jealous.
I'm not boasting nor showing off. I know there are people who might not get the things they want, therefore I'm very grateful for the things I have. 
You only see the happy/enjoyable/good times of me because I can't possibly share pictures of myself crying and sulking and shits okay.
If you happen to be one of them who thinks I'm showing off my wealth, I'd ask you to stop assuming because you're not me. If not, delete/block/unfollow me from your social media, or tell me personally, not telling the world anonymously on how much you are not satisfied with my activities online. :)






Other than that, Happy Holidays!
May God bless you and your loved ones with good health, good relationships and more. x

Manis Enambelas

Thursday 31/10

Was waiting for this day to come for so long. Exam ended and finally a long weekend to laze around. And so, Sek Sam Nee picked JiaQi, ChiYi and I after school. Headed to STG for lunch (and I only thought it was for lunch). Haha.

After main course, I wanted to try on the desserts (as always). I ordered this and everyone seemed indifferent.. I didn't know why until I get to know that they bought me a cake. :3 I likey them as they whispered me a birthday song. :'D

But anyway this was good. Tiramisu. RM15, I think.

I was really surprised cause I had no idea when they brought this in to the restaurant. *clap clap*

I look slim omg hahahahaha. :3

Thank you to all these sweethearts for the surprise advanced birthday lunch. :D <3

Very much appreciated! :)

Friday 1/11

I don't really remember what I did this day.. Only remembered having dinner with my dad and grandparents. Then dad sent me to Siewseem's place and wished me Happy Advanced Birthday before heading back to SG for work. :/ Hmm I don't think I've celebrated my birthday with him throughout the years.. But well, it's the thought that counts! :)

It was about 10.30 when we went out and meet Weng. It was just a meet up and drink and chill.

First stop; History. I don't really like that place now. So boring compared to BnB. :p

Yays to SiewSeem's long hands! 

Hahahha because mine is never long enough to take a shot like that. :p

SiewSeem bought me a slice of rainbow cake and we decided not to eat it at History to avoid the DJ from playing me a birthday song. Haha so we headed to Weng's Haagen Daz @ Kinta Riverfront. There weren't a lot of people so it made the ambience really romantic and soothing. :D

Both of them knew how much I think receiving a birthday song from someone is very awkward yet, they sang it at the top of their voice. Hahaha. We ate the cake and a scoop of ice cream together and took pictures (again) lol.

My face^ is due to the wishes I made for both of my darlings. ;)

So many hands in the picture. Hahaha.

Weng Weng. :3

:D

On the way home, we passed my Little India and I asked SiewSeem if she wants to have henna.

Without a second thought, she parked the car and we headed down for Henna. At 12.30 midnight. Hahhaha so spontaneously crazy. 

It was my first time having henna, decided to have it on my palm as I was afraid to get myself into trouble in school. :p Both of us had the same pattern. Hehe. It was instantly done within 5-7 minutes per hand. Super efficient. 

Have a look on my fat hand and Ss' slim hand (ohmyenglish).

It was RM10 per hand btw. You can actually buy the ink (or whatever you call it) to do it for yourself. It is A LOT cheaper. But we the lazy people was lazy so.. whatudo? :P

It was dried within an hour but we were told not to erase until the next day but aiya. Ain't nobody got time for that. :p

It turned out like that ^

But it gets darker the next morning ^ haha.

Saturday 2/11

I went for this deepavali open house with fellow GenY people (after so long of not meeting them) :D

Then I went to Steven for his first F5 modmaths class. *phew* I am aware that I need to focus on my studies so much more because with the results that I've been achieving, I'm no good. Bless me? :)

Later at night, JiaQi picked me up from home to attend Lavishya's open house. (I am so thankful for people who stays near me and is willing to carpool hehe). And two open houses in a day! Feeling so fat :O I borrowed a set of saree for the event but, hahahahaididn'tknowhowtotiethesaree. So I only wore it at Lavishya's place with the help of her mum and grandma hahahah. :P but well, the outcome wasn't that bad la. 

So matching :3 Heheheh Alyssa, my grizzly bear. :D

Sunday 3/11

Had a birthday lunch with the fam bam @ Yum Yum. Hehe. Everyone was busy teasing me for stupid things hahaha. My aunts are like so wild till my mum also no eyes see. :p

There were not any pictures cause my mum took pictures and she lost her phone! :( (screw whoever who took her phone. I feel really sad for her cause it's the memories/pictures/contacts in the phone that matters). Ah well, let bygones be bygones. :/

Spend the rest of the day at home and then later went out to Plan B for my advanced birthday bash. :)

One thing to laugh about : I told everyone that the dinner starts at 7. And I reached at 7.40pm with 3 people there. Hahahha. Malaysians are goddamn unpunctual!! :'D

People started coming one by one and what made me happiest was the presence of LIEW NYIT LENG!! Oh dear. It's been yearssss since I last seen her. Every single time we plan to meet up but end up failing. And think itik lied to me that she couldn't make it back to Ipoh. I seriously was disappointed already.. until I saw this crazily skinny girl in red running in, trying to hide from me. XD

I was really happy with everyone present there. It was a small group (personally) and I feel comfortable with everyone there. Hehe.

My dearest Kiew comes up with awesome idea to surprise me every year. Last year was a rainbow cake. Tbh, they made the rainbow cake before any other cafes did. Trend setter whey. ;) Well this year, they knew I didn't want a cake cause everyone won't finish up the cake and yeah, she and Mun made me a jelly! :3

Loves <3 <3

Cross section of the jelly. Haha. 

Strawberries; peaches; pineapples; kiwis; blueberries + love. :3

Took polaroids and a lot of pictures (what we people, especially girls do). These are my personal favorites hehehe. :3

Blur but everyone was so happy! :)

Our kissy face bring the boys to the yard. :'D

Nomnomnom.

This, is classic. Hhahahha.

With two of the smallest eyed humans. - - 

Mun, Kiew, Nyit Leng and I headed for the second round @ BnB.

So rare to have a chance to go out with Nyit and we went all out. Lololol :p

Ordered 3 full pints of Kilkenny for Mun, Kiew and I. Nyit was just sitting there.. probably thinking how badass her friends became. D: (haha jokes) What was unexpected was the vodka shots that Mun ordered for me. Oh dear Lord. One shot down and it burns my throat.. I started getting tipsy. But well, I'm alright hahahah. New experience ma. :p

Then headed to OTK Studio @ Greentown for karaoke session! 12am - 2am. I wonder why I was still energetic hahahah. Sang like mad till I can't feel my voice already. Haha.

It was really enjoyable hanging with these bunch of friends. :) <3

When Mun was refilling petrol. And I was being a little lame and high and whatever you call it.

I look okay with specs right? Haha.

Monday 4/11

Slept at 3.30 the night before at Kiew's place and woke up at 7.30 with a slight hangover.

Edwin picked us up for this Respect Workshop at SMK Kg Dato Ahmad Said, Manjoi.

Banana leaf rice @ Sri Ananda's. In love with the cheese nun. 

ThenmybestfriendandEdwinandZiTengbroughtmetoAeonandwatchthisamazing'comedy'movie.

MylifefeelscompletewhenIhavefriendswhohelpme'overcomemyfear'.

You have no idea how much I 'enjoyed' throughout the movie. I covered my eyes and ears for 2 hours. Totally closed my eyes during the scary parts to avoid post-symptoms hahhaa. My curiosity killed the cat. Wanna know what happened next but didn't dare to watch. Pfft.

I'm really thankful for everyone who took time to celebrate with me and even those who send me wishes on Facebook, Whatsapp etc. All these made me feel appreciated. :)

Once again, thanks everyone for making my sixteen birthday a blast! Hehehe. God bless you <3

Cray-z

Ah so long didn't blog. (I say this so often, it should be my compulsory phrase every time I blog. Haha jokes)
Well, due to the finals of course. 2 more major subjects to go!! But darn, I'm already in the holiday mood. :( I'm pretty sure I'm gonna fail addmaths. And if I don't, it's a miracle (literally). Lol.

Happy 18th Birthday to Lee Jroe Phin! (nope she's not gonna read this but well. free world haha)
Time flies. It seems like it was last week when we celebrated her birthday last year. In a blink of an eye, so much things has changed. I sang her a song on whatsapp and started spilling out wishes in chinese. Made a fool out of myself but good that she laughed. :)

I started reminiscing about a lot of things (I always #throwback). How relationships among friends change due to the situation they are in. New environment, new friends, new relationships, new adaptions, new target in life, new habits, new 'old friends'. People get so caught up with all these new things and without them realizing, they forget old things. Oh well, who in the world isn't like that? Can't blame anything/anyone. It's the way of life? But well, life for the moment. Because at the end of the day, you're gonna regret the things you didn't have the courage to do. Like me. :)
Sometimes we have to stop expecting to actually be happy. Once saw this 'equation of happiness'  on the internet; "HAPPINESS = REALITY - EXPECTATIONS". We often expect, and assume. That's basically what brings us down when these expectations can't be achieved.
I miss how close (some of) my friends and I used to be. All these memories are revived through pictures. So this is why, I love taking pictures. :) It's the only thing that doesn't change when everything else does. I'll remember what we did, what things were said, what stupid shit we were laughing about, the place we were at, that look on his/her face and apparently, everything. (I wonder how can I remember so many things without putting effort in it and not when it comes to studies). And all these shall only remain in the heart, to be cherished and appreciated. For me, it takes one song, one picture to actually get myself 'in the mood'. Aiya emotional girl alert. :p
It's so hard to self-motivate but you know you somehow need to do it.

Somethings wrong with me. I'm over the limit of fangirling about Chi Lam. Somebody safe me. Somebody accompany me to watch him sing at Genting. Somebody.

Look at his swaggggg. Oh dear save me I can't breathe.

Look at that charming smile. Those cute dimples. (I have a fetish on guys with dimples lol)

 I'm gonna faint.

I don't know what's wrong with me like seriously. I don't normally fangirl. And when I do, I'm over the board. QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM.

Reminiscing

God knows why I did not update my blog recently. Flooded with so much duties to be carried out. Interact stuffs are finally done, the term is ending but finals in less than a week's time. Crap.

Oh anyway, I'd like to welcome the new exco members for The Board of Student Librarians as well as the Interact Club. :)
Hope to get along with every single of them and achieve more together. Ah, I've said the things I wanted to say in my speech earlier and I don't want to present another speech here. Haha I think I screwed up at one point. Oh well. I'll continue learning and buck up on my speeches as time goes by hahaha. Thankful for everything today. :)

Pretty jealous about the F3 peeps. PMR is over and there's really nothing to do. I miss those moments. 'Freedom Declaration Meeting' was one of the biggest events my friends and I organised back then. Reminiscing everything and I still think time is passing by too fast. Phew. F5s are leaving sooooooooo soon. :( Then our turn to be in the senior year and then goodbye to the Alma Mater. Then college then uni then work then what? I don't want to grow up but.. there ain't no birth control pills for time/life. Lol.



I don't think I will be blogging much till finals are over? I'll see. I'm not a good blogger haha. Because a good blogger blogs often and I don't. :P
Have to go now. I'll come back soon. Thanks for stopping by and sorry for breaking your heart when you see no blog updates from me. #ss :D

Protons

Hello fellow blog readers.

I've been sulking badly for the past week. Sorry for the negativity but well, we all have our period of time. So haha, I admit. I was pretty pessimistic.
I've been thinking bout things lately. Thinking that I am not worthy and every single shit that brings me down. Since then, I've been radiating lots of negative energy. And I know. It's. not. good.

Ah. I have to thank the few people who are always by my side, listening to all my rants, giving me love and care. Without you people, I don't think I'll be able to get out of this hole.
Most importantly, my mum who brought me to this EQ seminar, which I needed it a lot. I've been out there in the reality for too long. Haven't been listening/doing positive things for quite a while. Haven't been self-motivating as well. And I believe this is umm, quite normal for everyone? :P

After the seminar, I realized that I should increase a little more awareness towards my own acts. Be more mindful of my thoughts, words, and behavior. To most of you who doesn't know me personally, and thinks I'm and effing cocky person, I'll try to prove you wrong by.. Smiling? I know it's hard but try to not label someone by what you see. :P
I know I shouldn't only be focusing on the negatives. Instead, I shall think about the good things that have been happening for me. When I think positive, I attract positives as well. Hah Laws of Attraction. :)
I gained lots of 'protons', making myself positive. Hahhahaha. I know as time goes by, society gives me electrons. Therefore, self-motivate!! :D You (everyone of you out there), too. :)



Good day.

ASDFGHJKL;

Quite a number of things happened for the past few days.... till present.

1. I found out that my volleyball skills still exist.
2. New bio teacher and she's better than the previous one.
3. Some junior labelled me as "EMO".
4. The same junior cried as she claimed that I was scary (which I denied).
5. Just started studying for finals (which is not early at all because I suck badly in studies).
6. Finally talked to this friend whom I haven't been talking to for months.
7. Had no idea why I like red bean moon cake out of a blue.
8. I started working out again and I regretted stopping it months ago.
8. Totally lost my mind when this friend of mine (whom I least expect) started working out!!
9. Things feel like it went wrong. All at once. It doesn't rain but pours.
10. I feel stupid to actually treat others sincerely, whole-heartedly and get bullshit back in return.
11. Not everyone who promised to be there for you will be.
12. Do not skip recess just because you are angry. (I regretted it).
13. Sometimes it is better not to give a damn. It's not like other people gives a fuck about you.
14. Nothing is impossible.
15. I have a lot of things to be done but I'm still procrastinating.
16. My heart had been aching for unnecessary reasons.
17. I found an Eiffel Tower keychain from.. Idk who. It just happens to be in my room. Creepy.
17. Triumph In The Skies II ended and I still haven't watch the ending yet.
17. I am thinking of what to type.
18. And I do realize that the numberings are all messed up. Do you?
19. This is getting lame.
20. Bye.

Potato couching?

I've been looking at the screen since last night.
Went to the cinema for a midnight movie yesterday. It was quite exciting as I don't think I've ever done that before with my mumzeee. Hhaha.
UNBEATABLE was what we watched. Didn't have a good impression of it as I thought it was only some typical cina action movie. But darn, I was wrong. It was seriously amazing. Great story line, meaningful as well. Together with awesome actors, actresses, and those smoking hot bodies (this is just a bonus ok).

Featuring Eddie Peng & Nick Cheung.

This heartthrob is darn hot. *fangirling* 

& the girl is Crystal Lee from Malaysia. 

Her acting skills were so good she actually won an award for the movie. And she acted in a lot of movies as well! Together with Jay Chou for the previous one leh. Darn jealous she's that talented. She definitely makes us Malaysians proud! :D

I've been slacking for the whole entire day, watching Triumph In The Skies II. Omg tonight is the last ep! I know I should totally start studying now but lol, my ass is somehow attached to the couch.
Been thinking about my future a lot. Not knowing if I can reach what my parents and everybody else in the house aim for. Peer pressure. Why do they think it's darn easy to do something out of their control? Getting a scholarship is something I doubt I can, because I'm not good enough? I should start preparing a plan b if plan a doesn't work.
Well, hope for the best and prepare for the worst. That's all for now. :)

Blah

It has been a week since I last blogged. Sorry, fellow blog readers. It has been a busy week and I can't think of anything interesting to be blogged about. This is some random thought of mine. Just expressing.

Why do people change when they get into a relationship?
"Being in a relationship is having more things in life, not removing things from life", my best friend told me. And I can't agree more. I personally think it's plain stupid to dump your friends away when you're in a relationship. Because at the end of the day if you happen to face any problems, who are you going to seek help from? Friends.
It hurts when people I cherish and love change into a different person when they found their partner.  After all, what can I do? Nothing much. Sometimes I choose not to care because it doesn't hurt that much. But no matter how much I deny, this part of me will always care.
People who doesn't realize what they do with their words and actions always end up hurting other people. It might not be with intentions but it still hurts. It's not that I think too much. It's that I'm aware of other's actions so that I don't blindly do things (like not letting the conversation die when the other party obviously don't even wanna talk to you).

At the end of the day, I realize that I can please no one. I will only be myself and those who don't like me will leave. Others might stay? None of the situations are in my control.


p/s : sorry if I appear rude sometimes. caught up in the situation.